I always chuckle when a celebrities say things like, “Oh, we just sit around watching movies on a Friday night, pretty normal”, or “I am so happy to have a night off from the kids” (on the red carpet at the Oscars). Better yet, the insert in US Magazine titled Stars are Just Like Us, showing beautiful bazillionaires getting groceries, or at the park with their kids (I have yet to see a diaper bag or snack spit up in any of these photos).
Laughing Mom’s Stars are Not Like Us: Reese Witherspoon Edition.
1) My baby wakes up at night, and if he doesn’t, my toddler will.
Or I am always worried that one of them will. This almost always prevents me from having any wine, let alone a glass too many. When my son was Reese’s son’s age (8 months old),there was a 50/50 chance that he would be up in the night to eat and my toddler would occasionally wake up crying as well.
My babysitter goes home when I do – meaning I not only have to get up in the night, but also have to be up by 7 am with both kids. Nothing makes turning ‘another’ glass of wine away easier than the thought of how close 7 am is. (If I have the occasion to have a few drinks, then my husband refrains for much the same reason).
2) My babysitter can’t stay all night.
Admittedly, lots of people have grandparents who are willing to stay overnight with their grandchild, or are happy to host them at their house. But there are just as many of us who scramble to find a babysitter for a night out. If you are lucky, you know someone in your neighborhood so you can walk them home, but many people I know drive the sitter home.
So now I might have to be up at 4 am to feed the baby, I know I have to be up at 6:30 am with the toddler AND I have to drive the sitter home by midnight? I think I’ll have the cheesecake instead please.
3) If I said Do you know who I am? the officer would laugh so hard, s/he would forget to arrest me.
I would love to say this to an officer of the law: When s/he asked “Who”, I could respond, “A mom. On a night out. The first since (insert sniffles here) I had little cute baby boy, and I just wanted to…to eat dinner and not have food thrown at me.” Alas, I am not an actress, and the promise of a spit up free dinner is not an excuse for a DUI (nor to be a passenger with someone who is under the influence).
4) I can afford a cab.
I know This Means War didn’t do so well at the box office, but I imagine Ms. Witherspoon has access to enough petty cash to get a lift. It looks like they all get a ride to premieres and awards ceremonies. Next time, just ask the driver for his card and ask if he is free to give you a lift on your next date night.