Top 5 Forgiveable White Lies

September 19, 2012

General Humour

We all know that honesty is the best policy.  But with a number of sleepless nights under your belt and a full day of activities, it is OK to fudge the truth a little bit.

I am pleased to share with you, Laughing Mom’s Top 5 Forgiveable White Lies While you have Young Children.

5. Brunch plans with the girls.
The Lie: I am not sure what it is, I just don’t feel that well.  Maybe I should take a pass so I don’t pass it onto you guys?
The Truth: Since I had brunch plans, my husband agreed to morning duty with the kids.  So I had an extra glass of wine or two last night.  In the old days, 1, 2, 3 glasses of wine on a Friday night would be no big deal, but I haven’t had more than one since I had the baby.  Apparently, a few glasses of wine now make me hung-over.
Trust me, unless you want to be the topic of the brunch you plan to skip, do not mention you are a. hung-over or b. hung-over from 3 glasses of wine.

4. At a birthday party / baby shower.
The Lie: I completely forgot to ask for a gift receipt, but I think Toys R Us will let you take it back if it is unopened.
The Truth: I bought the gift on my way here and ‘wrapped’ it in a brand new gift bag as I was walking up the driveway.  A time stamped gift card would give me away.  I am just happy I remembered to get a gift at all.

3. Play date you are hosting.
The Lie: Yes, I baked them earlier this week.
The Truth: This can range from, “I baked them pre-baby, they have been sitting in my freezer for months,” to “Someone else dropped them off for me when we had our baby and they have been sitting in the freezer for months,” to “I bought them at the Farmer’s Market yesterday.”  We all want to look like we do a little bit of everything; the key here is not to try to pass off store bought items as your own.

2. Event you are late for.
The Lie: I am so sorry, he took a longer nap than usual and I didn’t want to wake him.
The Truth: I too took a nap and woke up the same time as the baby did and then had to get ready while he was underfoot.  Being fashionably late in return for some sleep seems like a good trade off to me especially if you managed to get 2 or more children to nap at the same time.  Truthfully, random nap schedules have made us late for countless events so adding on this extra one isn’t going to hurt.

1. Out anywhere
The Lie: Oh, I didn’t realise these pants were dirty.
The Truth: Yes, yes I did know.  I was there this morning when my son decided to wipe his yoghurt covered mouth into my pants before I could get to a face cloth.  The truth is these are the cleanest pants I could find (even with the yoghurt smear).  If you must know, I have a closet full of clean clothes but they are all pre-baby size.  I plan to fit into them very soon. (I suspect this is a white lie I am telling myself). In the meantime I rotate between this pair of stretchy yoga pants and a pair of pregnancy capris.  Trust me, the yoga pants were by far the best choice.

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About Laughing Mom

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2 Comments on “Top 5 Forgiveable White Lies”

  1. JenS Says:

    Hilarious – and I’ve used these excuses too!!

    Reply

  2. Kathy Johnson Says:

    Love it! Yes, I may have used one or two of the excuses as well:)

    Reply

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